Mommies Unite! There is a fine line between curiosity and judgment.
While reading an article the other day I had an epiphany. The article was discussing the ongoing mommy war of Working moms vs. Stay at home moms which I have often found to be moronic, as soon as a woman is given the title mom she is working. She is physically, mentally, and emotionally on the clock so to speak. She is up at 3am for feedings, changing diapers, packing bags, giving baths, making meal, and those are just the physical requirements. She is also modeling behavior regarding appropriate ways to interact with others, seek assistance, and compassion for her youngersters. She is answering philosophical questions, and teaching basic vocabulary, cause and effect, colors, shapes, religion, etc. She is also emotionally invested till the day she dies. She will worry about the way her child is developing. She will wonder if she is doing everything she can and should be doing for her children. She will put immense pressure on herself and even blame herself for any social, physical, or physiological delay her child may experience. As moms we question ourselves enough without the added pressure from other moms. Let the mom who is perfect, with perfect children, and home/household to be the first to pass judgment on another mother.
Some may say politicians, teacher, and religious leaders are the people who will have the most impact on the future, the ones who will write history. I disagree with this factor; moms have the most important jobs on this planet, we directly influence the future generation. We are the comforting embrace that those future leaders and teachers will be running to when they scrape their knee, when they are the last chosen for gym class games, when they experience frustration over their homework, when puberty wreaks havoc on their confidence, when their first true love breaks their hearts. Moms are there when the world is against them and when they are on top of the world.
So, we have been given a very important job, to be a mother, and a job that none of us take lightly. Although, like any job we each must follow our own manuals and make adjustments as needed. So the next time you come in contact with a mother that follows a slightly different manual then yours, perhaps she formula feeds instead of breast feeds, uses synthetic as opposed to organic, works outside the home as opposed to in the home, teaches sign language as a first language as opposed to English, uses a pacifier vs. no pacifier, uses cloth diapers as opposed to disposable, home schools as opposed to private/public schools, ferberizes as opposed to co-sleeps, driving a Honda as opposed to a Ford, etc. Remember we are each trying our best to fulfill our obligations as a mother. We are already putting a substantial amount of pressure on ourselves without the added pressure from the outside world.
This is not to say that we should not share our mommy manuals with other mommies. We can learn so much from each other but there can be a fine line between curiosity and judgment.
