Have you ever had a difficult time describing the shear magnitude of responsibilities and unexpected mishaps that can occur during the day to your husbands? Does it seem like no matter how you try to express the fact that you are physically, emotionally, and mentally drained they never seem to truly appreciate the extent? Well, most moms can relate. It is no surprise that men and women speak different languages (and a bad case of selective hearing, but that is a whole different story).
For example, when your husband gets home and you express the fact that you have had a very demanding day and share the happening of your day with him you state the following:
The baby was up all night so my day started off on a tired note, followed by the fact that Tommy and Sue’s school closed due to boiler issues so I had to entertain the children all day. Fortunately I was still able to maintain the daily chores. So, I am a little excited by the fact that I did it; though the day did not start off in my favor I did it! I fed the kids, put clean sheets on all the beds, did laundry, fed the animals, swept the floors, vacuumed, cleaned the kitchen (three times), changed diapers, resolved a few sibling quarrels, had a few discussions about inappropriate behavior, paid some bills, got caught in the crossfire of a juice box war, cleaned up puke (Tommy used the sit & spin after lunch, again, after I have told him five times not to spin after you eat), had a serious discussion about super heroes and heaven, made a slew of crafts with Sue, helped a girlfriend through some turmoil in her life, and still manages to throw on some deodorant, a semi decent wardrobe, and have dinner on the table. Go me!
Unfortunately what your husband heard was:
The baby was up all night and…… then his mind kind of started to wandered.
Our husbands might say it is our own fault, we should say something new or perhaps not as much but the real issue is we are speaking different languages. I guess John Gray was right, Men are from Mars, darn Martians, that explains why they do not hear what we are saying and why their feet always smell, what is the deal with that? I digressed. We need to figure out how to speak their language and I think I have found the perfect analogy. Moms/Wives are like Cars.
Let me explain, men seem to always take exceptional care of their cars and understand car language. They fill up the tank before it is even 3/4 empty, they get oil changes on time, clean their cars out frequently (or at least much more frequently then us mommies get the opportunity to), rotate and change tires as necessary, and need I add, even have a little fun with their cars (speed a little, enjoy their favorite music, like to show it off to their friends), and the kids are rarely in their car. Remember Tim the Tool man Taylor from Home Improvement? He is the perfect example of how a man speaks car and takes care of his car. So, I have come up with the following language barrier resolution. Simply translate all your questions and woes into men language or manguage. I have included a few suggested phrases below.
Women say:
I have had a long and tough day and need to get out of the house and away from the children for a little while to rejuvenate so that my mommy spirit will be ready for a new day. I am going to a friends to talk for a little while.
Translated in manguage: My tank is almost empty and I need to refuel.
Women say:
I had a tough week and need some time to redirect my focus and put some “me” time in. I think I will get a pedicure, what do you think? It isn’t sandal weather yet but I could use it. Maybe I should wait? What do you think? Maybe while I am there I will get my eye brows done, what do you think? My legs are hairy too, I have never waxed my legs but I have always wanted to try, what do you think?
Translated in manguage: I need to get myself detailed, be back in a few hours.
Women say:
It has been forever since I have gotten my hair done and I feel so dated and yucky. I ran into Cindy today and she has this new bob that looks amazing on her. I need to get a new hairdo. Do you think I should go shorter? My face is long though, I am not sure how that will look on me. Perhaps go lighter… or darker? Maybe I should get a few highlights? What do you think?
Translated in manguage: I need a new paint job. I was going to ask you a lot of questions but ultimately will call Cindy and trust her opinion.
Women say: My OBGYN appointment is coming up, I so dread this but I know it is for my health. I hope there isn’t a long wait. That gets me thinking, what about another baby? I am not getting any younger?
Translated in manguage: I need to get the interior detailed, check under the engine and make sure everything is running smoothly. Regarding the baby comment-This model is getting old so lets make it look amazing, take it for a fun drive, and then put it out of commission for a year and then increase the car payment again (because the last three increases were not significant enough) for an indefinite amount of time.Women say: Don’t you love me anymore? We never talk, we never go out, and I am stuck with the kids all day everyday, I need some adult attention.
Translated in manguage: I have a full tank of gas, the interior is detailed, tires rotated, engine checked, and washed- it’s time to show me off to your friends.
So maybe no real issues are being resolved but at least we are now able to translate our thoughts into manguage. Please share some of your manguage barriers that you have experienced.
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