Clipping for a Cause

Clipping for a Cause
There are three activities that encompass this endeavor.  They can each be a lot of fun when done with friends.

1^st Chit Chat & Clip

So I am a huge fan of the Krazy Coupon Lady and thanks to their website and book I have managed to organize an efficient coupon binder and become a savvy shopper. On my last shopping adventure the total was $400.00 and I paid $260.  Granted, I still think there is room for improvement but it is a good starting point. 

Anyway, perhaps we could meet at a local coffee shop and chit chat and clip.

2^nd Cart to Car

We would then meet up at the grocery store, place the items we clipped the coupons for in the cart, pay for the items, and then place them in the car. Again, this could be a lot of fun with friends (preferably no children for this trip- we need sharp mommy brains to stay focused).

3^rd Car to food pantry (darn, I was trying to come up with word that begins with c)

A designated group could then drive the donations to the food pantry and if they wish possibly stay and help sort and organize the donated products.

What do you say? Who is with me?

Time frame: this does not all have to occur in a specific time frame.  Step one could occur over the course of a month or so but the 2^nd and 3^rd are more time sensitive.

Over-sexed society, I blame the Jersey Shore?

When did dating become synonymous with promiscuity? In the past it was not unusual for a teenage girl to have a date to a football game with a young man on a Friday evening and a movie date with a different young man on a Saturday evening.  However by today’s standards she would be considered promiscuous because for some reason sex is presumed to occur.

Sex has been taken so lightly these days, as if two individuals are meeting up for an afternoon jog. Our society is leaving nothing up to the imagination.  From a very young age children are exposed to adult content and situations. The clothing that is in the little girls department is appalling; I fear that it is a come hither call to sexual predators. Little girls should not be dressing in trampy adult women clothing.  Short skirts, shorts, bikinis with padding in the tops, exotic prints, high heels for toddles (PLEASE!) etc. this type of wardrobe is grooming a child for a life where sex appeal gets you attention and not their intellect.

Since society is so cavalier with provocative attire, exposing children to sexually explicit games, and television shows at such a young age it is no wonder why teens are exploring their sexuality.  They probably see it as a right of passages, this is what the adults do, and they are being groomed into young adults, right?  The excitement, the scandal, the attention that the promiscuous parties receive in television shows is appealing to young minds. Reality television only magnifies this idea.  There are two shows that instantly come to mind when it comes to sex and promiscuity, Jersey Shore and Teen Mom.  These two shows are on MTV, granted not the most elite programming but chances are, even if you do not have cable or allow your child to view such programming, they have somewhere or somehow, or they have at least heard other children discuss it.  These two shows glamorize sex appeal, premarital sex, and promiscuity.  Teen Mom is a sequel to the original show titled, Sixteen and Pregnant.  Sixteen and Pregnant followed around girls who, you guessed it, were pregnant at sixteen.  MTV has exclaimed that the purpose of the show is to illustrate the hardships these women go through in hopes that other teens will not follow in their footsteps.  However, while viewing the show quite the contrary is being illustrated, the teen girls all have their own places, cars, adorable babies, oh, and they are on MTV, they are famous, talk about the life.  That playing house thing doesn’t look to difficult on Teen Mom, why wouldn’t a teen contemplate the same road, you could be famous?  Next stop Jersey Shore.

Wow, what isn’t wrong with this show? The show originally aired on the Jersey Shore but they have most recently made a mockery of Americans in Italy. The show has eight or nine characters; I mean reality television stars that live together for a few weeks.  Now, for the most part all I can gather, with regard to a purpose of the show is to watch as people destroy their lives?  Or maybe they are trying to be examples of what you should not do with your lives?  They all drink heavily, sleep in, are late for work which is the equivalent of a first time job for a teenager (they work at a pizzeria), sleep with each other, sleep with strangers, and fight.  I believe that about sums up the program, oh, I forgot, they also eat sometimes. So, once again this show is glamorizing behaviors we do not want our children to partake in, it illustrates nothing but rude, promiscuous, intoxicating behavior. 

Society is definitely steering our future generations in the wrong direction, perhaps it is hopeless?  Oh, but wait, is society responsible for our children or are we, the parents responsible for our children? Last time I checked, my five year old doesn’t have a license or a job to purchase clothes, so who is buying the clothes?  And those same children live with adults, what type of behavior is being modeled in their homes? Is Jersey Shore and Teen Mom behavior be modeled?  

Parents take a stand, be the positive role model in your child’s life. On that note I will step down from my soap box and we are off to church.

Day 2 and Day 3 of my screen-free challenge, Day 3 is a doozy

Day 2

Wow, did I sleep great.  I had no trouble falling asleep and staying asleep.  But I had a dose of the good stuff and like a drug I wanted more. However, the kiddos were up earlier than usual, bright-eyed at 6:30am and we actually had nowhere to go this morning.  I tried to get them to sleep in, I expressed that soon school would be starting and we would have to wake up early. I exclaimed that this is why we should treasure these few mornings left that we do not have to go anywhere, sleep in, SLEEP IN.  Then an idea stuck me, television, how great would it be to just have them preoccupied by a television show for an hour and mommy could continue this euphoric slumber. Then I remembered the 3 day screen-free challenge-NOOOOO I yelled in my mind as I slowly got out of bed and made my way to the kitchen to prepare breakfast.

We played instruments and listened to music

After everyone had eaten up all the eggs the day took off like a whirlwind.  We read all the Eric Carle books, we listened to music, played the instruments, danced, did our activity books, and colored, wow that was exhausting. 

The kiddos even helped me clip coupons

Unfortunately it was only 10am.  So I let them raid the recycling box and the pantry and make creative creations.  Surprisingly that lasted for an hour then I declared it lunch time.  Once they completed lunch it was off to quiet time for them and my hubby came home and we had lunch together.  Instead of eating in the family room preoccupied with a television show we ate in the kitchen and had a true heart-to-heart, it was a delightful meal. 

After quiet time it was off to various stores in hopes of using store coupons in order to get a discount on my little princess's new school uniform wardrobe.  So we stopped at Kohl’s got the stroller out, kiddos out, in the store, purchased a shirts, got the kiddos back in the car, stroller in the car, baby buckled and drove two minutes across the street to JCPenny’s.  Once at JCPenny’s I got the stroller out, kiddos out, in the store, purchased a skirt, got the kiddos back in the car, stroller in the car, baby buckled and drove a minute around the store to ULTA. Once at ULTA I got the stroller out, kiddos out, in the store, purchased moisturizer, got the kiddos back in the car, stroller in the car, baby buckled and drove back across the street to Kohl’s since I realized I still had 10 dollars worth of Kohl’s bucks in my wallet. So, after all was said and done my arms got a great workout, I think I broke my back, the children asked for random items roughly 50 times, they learned a valuable lesson about being on a budget, and I was just about out of my mind.  I so desperately just wanted to go home and place all of them in front of the television so mommy could decompress. But there was no time, dinner needed to be prepared. 

After dinner we walked down to the park then came home had bath time, books, prayers, and bed. Once they were in bed I did the usually mommy stuff to prepare for the next day and sat down and finished my book.  Yes, that is correct; I said finished my book, in two days.  I have not finished a book in two days since honor literature summer reading list in high school (I was a procrastinator back then, kinda of cynical, you know the typical teenager ). Once again, I fell to sleep right after reading my book.  My mind was so focused on the book that my thoughts had no space or time to wander, it was beautiful.

Day 3

We needed to get up and going today since all three of my kiddos had doctors’ appointments.  My super hero needed his wellness check before preschool started. My princess only required one vaccine, chicken pox (I loved getting the chicken pox, such a bummer) before starting kindergarten, and my little baby grace needed her well check.  So the grand total for all three kiddos was nine vaccines.  Being the good and prepared mommy that I thought I was I packed snacks, drinks, activities to preoccupy them, and we discussed what was going to happen once we arrived at the doctor’s office. We discussed why they receive shots and ways to preoccupy their minds.  It seemed like they were prepared. 

So we walked in and there was no one in the waiting room.  I paid each of their co-pays and they said we could come on back.  Awesome, this was working out wonderfully; we had made it past the first wait, now on to the second.  We didn’t even have to wait for the nurse, she followed us, asked a few questions, and we were onto the weighing and measurement room. My little super hero breezed right through being weighed, measured, and blood pressure like a pro, on to the baby.  All of my children as babies cried during the weighing portion of the appointment, the buckets with the crunchy paper terrified them, but not my little baby grace.  She sat in the bucket got weighed, laid down got measured for height, and sat up to have her head circumference measured.  WOW, it was going so well, I was such a proud momma. All that was left was to talk to the doctor and then vaccines.  So we waited for the doctor for like a minute, she checked them out, and then we waited for the nurse to come back with the vaccines.  I decided that it would be best if the super hero went first, he is four, well prepared for what is going to occur, and he exuded so much confidence. 

So the nurse arrived with the vaccines in each tray, sat them down, and asked who was going first. My super hero jumped up on the bench and declared that he would be first.  So I started talking to him, I had him looking in the opposite direction as the shot, we were focusing our attention on a picture in the room, everything was going so smoothly, then it happened.  He looked at the shot, it started to penetrate his skin and he freaked out.  With a gusto he swiped is arm past the nurses, pulling the shot out of his skin in the process, leaving a bloody trail as it exited his body.  He simultaneously let out a huge yelp and began wailing.  Upon witnessing this horrific display my little princess and baby grace began crying as well.  Unfortunately this was only the first of nine shots to be given that day. So the nurse had me sit him on my lap, his legs between mine, and hold his arms, I felt horrible holding my child down like this but I knew he needed these vaccines, and deep down somewhere I was praying that he knew as well.  As I sat him down in the chair sobbing from the trauma and  I had to refocus my attention on my little princess. She only required one shot but boy was it going to be difficult to get her to clam down.

By this time all three of my children are crying, they have actually closed the door to the waiting room in hopes of not scaring off other patience.  Along with the wailing and screaming my little princess begins running around the office trying to get away from me. It should be noted that I have never experienced such a display from my children.  I felt like the worst mother ever, chasing down her child, holding them in place as they are punctured.  My mind quickly shifted to mommy mode, I was riffling through my memory box eagerly searching a resolutions to make this conundrum disappear.  What would Dr. Laura do?...Dr. Phil? What would my mom do?

I tried to rationalize the situation, and then I tried channeling their imaginations, when nothing seemed to work I had to contemplate bribery. I had no choice, I just wanted the entire thing to end.  The yelling, screaming, wailing, running, that they were illustrating and the emotional trauma to my psyche, it all felt surreal.  I felt like I was stuck in some sitcom, you know the ones, where it is funny from the audience’s perspective but at the expense of the actor.  Somebody yell cut I kept thinking, this cannot be real.

So finally the big yellow arches came to mind.  I declared that everyone could have a happy meal, with a toy, and French fries if we just got through the next two rounds of shots.  Suddenly the chaos seceded. My little princess received her vaccine, with her legs between mine and holding onto me for dear life.  Baby grace was a breeze, though crying the entire time, I could console her easily.  Upon leaving the doctors office I felt like I was leaving a battle zone.  I was physically and emotionally drained.

We headed to McDonald’s were everyone received their unhealthy, everything I do not stand for, happy meal. And they were happy.

Once home I finished cleaning up from the morning, prepared for the next day, organized a few things all the while so desperately wanting and deserving some mindless screen time.  I just went through what I would assume hell to be like and I just wanted to get lost in something.  So I started reading a new book. Within moments my mind was onto a new topic, in a way mindless television shows or computers social networks do not allow.  Granted I am not a doctor and I have not conducted any research but based upon my personal experience there is something psychological that must occur when we read from a book and not a screen.  I do not know how to fully express it in words but it is special. It is almost like our entire brain focuses so much more on the pages as opposed to a screen where it seems like so much more is occurring.

Coming soon…..conclusion to the challenge and studies that have been done to support my findings

Synopsis of the 3 Day Challenge

The 3 day screen free challenge was an enlightening experience. I found that for the most part being screen free brought about peacefulness inside of me. However there were a few moments when I would have given my left arm to have Barney and Big Bird on my side.

Bye Bye TV

The night before the challenge we read the book, It’s Not What You’ve Got to set the tone for the next three days.

Day 1

This screen free thing is pretty easy.  Granted we had a dentist appointment this morning. So there really wasn’t much time for television watching.  When we got home the children listened to music, played their instruments, and danced around the living room while I prepared lunch.  I so enjoyed lunch.

Normally I would work through lunch doing random chores around the house in hopes of being able to get online while the kiddos nap, or have quiet time. Knowing that I couldn’t get online during naptime or quiet time really slowed me down.  I sat down at the table with the children.  Usually my mind is wandering on the various to do lists, or activities, I hope to accomplish.  However, for the first time in a long time my mind was clear. I giggled, sang, and even made animal noises with the children, I felt like a kid again! It was at that moment that it became crystal clear to me that the effect that screen time has on your mind can be significant. How sad is it that “normally” during lunch my mind is a whirlwind, wondering if I received a certain email, if a particular coupon has become available, or if a friend commented on a recent post to facebook.  Wow, the screen-time-brain effect was making me miss out on enjoying time with the most important people in my life.

After quiet time we walked down to the park, had dinner, read books, then it was bedtime for the kiddos.  Meanwhile my hubby took off for a poker game and I was suddenly by myself with only the cat and the dog. I started to think about what I was supposed to do now? Chores were all completed.  Suddenly this challenge felt silly to me and I contemplated turning on a screen.  Television or computer I didn’t care.  I was all by myself, who would know if I turned on the TV?  I need distraction...or company…or something...I was perplexed by the emotion I was begining to feel.  I was seriously starting to become a little anxious, weird, who becomes anxious due to lack of distraction? In order to subside this feeling of anxiousness I ventured over to the bookshelf and grabbed a book from my been meaning to read pile, poured a cup of tea, lit a scented soy candle, and started reading. Suddenly a flood of calm set over me and I thought to myself, so this is what relaxing is all about.  I had forgotten how nice it was to get lost in a book.   I usually read ten minutes here, ten minutes there, often totaling a half hour or less a day. This time I had the luxury of reading, rand eading, and reading, till I fell asleep.

More to come tomorrow…….

3 day Screen-Free Challenge

Are you ready for a 3 day Screen-Free Challenge?

After careful reflection on the status of my garden of life I have concluded that it is in the midst of a drought, the oxygen levels are low, and weeds and pests are slowly making themselves known.  In order to increase the oxygen levels, end the drought, and have a thriving garden once again the weeds and pests need to be abolished.   

The question that then begs to be asked is how?  How do you make your garden of life flourish once again?

At a MOPs meeting last year I had the pleasure of listening to two DJs from YES FM give an amazing presentation about the pest, weeds, and chemicals that can harm your garden of life.  As we entered the room there was three different items on a table.  There was a basket full of fruits and vegetables, a box of Twinkies, and a bottle of Roundup (Monsanto-the name just makes me cringe).  They began the presentation by explaining that the fruits and vegetables represent the healthy or nutritious media for the soul. 

The examples they listed as good, or positive influences were, veggie tales, pbs programs, and Christian radio (Matte West/Amy Grant). Then they directed their attention to the box of Twinkies on the table. 

The said that the box of Twinkies represents the media information that was not necessarily good or positive but wasn’t exactly negative, but neutral.  The examples they gave were Sponge Bob and family friendly music (The carpenters/Frank Sinatra) and shows.  As they moved down the table and focused their attention on the spray bottle of roundup they indicated that it, without a doubt, represents the negative or toxic influences in the media, music, and the like. 

The examples they gave were MTV, Lady Gaga, and violent games. The presentation really struck a nerve with me. I had never realized just how influential even the background music or television shows could be not only a young child, but me as well.   After that presentation I made a conscious effort to only listen to positive, uplifting music in the car and at home.  The result was surprising, my mood, as well as the children’s, seemed to be more uplifting.  I illustrated more patience with the children and them with each other. So, what does this have to do with my wilting garden of life? Everything!

If changing what we watch and listen to can have such a positive result then the hypothesis would then be that, unplugging and going screen free will only multiply the results, and allow my garden of life to flourish once again?

The ground rules:

For three days my family will not watch television, will not be on the computer, will not play any game system, will not watch or utilize anything with a screen.  This also includes my cell phone. When I receive a text message I must call that person, no texting.

I will be keeping a log (old fashion pen and paper style) of our activities and writing down everyone’s feelings and thoughts throughout the experiment. 

I am deliberately going screen free before school starts in order to fully grasp the amount of time, energy, and hopefully emotional or mental influence screen time does have on our family.

Well, here goes.

Signing off, I will post my feedback on Thursday.

If you are willing to accept this challenge or have comments please share those below.

Is Your Garden of Life wilting?

How to bring back your garden of life

An actual garden

I am sure this comes as no surprise to you but we are not on this planet for a long time.  I assume you plan on making the most of your time on this planet as I know I do as well.  After all, once our journey on earth ends we can not take a single materialistic thing or object with us.  All we have when it is all said and done are the relationships we formed, the memories we made, and faith.  In order to make this journey a positive one it is important to cherish and nurture your relationships; your relationship with your spouse, your children, your extended family, your friends, and with Christ. As the saying goes, anything worth having is worth working hard for and relationships are no exception.

The analogy I like to use is that your relationships are like a vegetable garden that need to be tended.  I like this analogy because it is very elementary and children and adults can relate.  When you teach your children about gardening you express that the main components that are required in order for your garden to grow are:

1.    Soil

2.    Water

3.    Fertilizer

4.    Sunlight

5.    Oxygen

The same is true when it comes to tending to your relationships.  Relationships do not just happen; there are specific components that need to be conveyed in order for the relationship to flourish. When tending to your garden of life the following components must be present to make it grow:

1.    Attention/Undivided Attention

2.    Listen

3.    Empathy or compassion

4.    Forgiveness

5.    Christ

When tending to a garden one of the main components is soil. When tending to your relationship one of the main components is attention, your undivided attention.  Undivided attention can be a difficult task for some people to undertake.  All the latest and greatest technological gadgets seem to complicate and infringe upon your time and manipulate your attention span. Granted, we all have a tendency to become preoccupied with phones, ipad, game systems, etc. The various social networks, facebook, tweeting, etc. only compound the preoccupancy. The irony is many people, including moms, spend so much time on social networks thinking they are nurturing their relationships.  While in the meantime, the poor souls who are physically present and trying to spend time with you are being severely neglected.  Or worse, have you ever seen those couples out at a restaurant who are both preoccupied with some technological gadget, talk about quality time together! 

I am not arguing the fact that technology has provided us with a magnitude of advantages.  It has provided us with a magnificent means for which to education our children on the world.  There is so much information at our fingertips and when utilized correctly is can be a blessing.  However, like everything, moderation is the key, healthy boundaries need to be established and maintained. Parents need to determine and uphold rules regarding screen time.  A big rule should be no screens at the dinner table.  The dinner table is the perfect opportunity to provide your love ones with your undivided attention, to nurture those relationships. Also, like everything in life, parents need to model appropriate behavior.  Parents need to limit their screen time. This might even mean setting a timer because it is easy to get sucked into the Bermuda triangle of technology.

After you have established rules regarding screen time it is so important that you explain why.  Express the fact that human interaction is important in order to establish and nurture relationships. Giving someone your undivided attention expresses to that individual that what they have to say is important to you, that they are important to you. After all as moms/parents don’t we want our children to know that they come first not some virtual life?

I fear that if this generation of mothers/parents does not carefully communicate the need for intimate relationships and nurturing those relationships then our children will fall prey to the fictitious cyber world.  Not to mention horrible etiquette as well. Have you ever been the victim to the chronic texter? Nothing says you are not important to me faster then the chronic texter.

There is clearly already a huge generation gap with regard to the virtual or cyber world.  A great example is the Toyota Venza commercial.  It begins with a young girl behind her computer screen.  She expresses that she read an article that said that older people are becoming anti-social.  She continues to state that her parents only have 19 friends on facebook, while she has over 600 friends on facebook.  The irony is while she is narrating this information the visual is of her parents meeting friends and going for a bike ride.  All the while she is sitting behind her computer tending to her cyber life.

Ok, so once you have established boundaries with regard to screen time, and have provided your undivided attention, the next component that is necessary for your garden of life to flourish is to listen. While this seems like an easy enough tasks it can actually be difficult to achieve.  Have you ever started listening to a person and a particular word or phrase they say strikes a nerve?    News flash, this is just as bad as interrupting. 

I know it can be difficult trying to override that portion of your brain that wants to hold on to that particular thought but it is important that you do.  Think of it this way, letting go of what you were thinking doesn’t mean it disappears.  If you are meant to bring up the particular thought in the conversation it will come back to you after you have given the other person the necessary time to finish speaking.

When your mind is preoccupied with other thoughts and you simply reply during the lulls in the conversation with what you assume to be an accurate response the other person knows, you are not fooling anyone.  This impulse response is simply another way of not listening and telling the other person that they are not important. This happens a lot between mothers and their children and wives and their husbands.  Often moms have so much information coming into their brains that they are on overload.  Don’t be afraid to say so, be honest with your children.  Tell them that what they have to say is important but mommy needs a few minutes to collect her thoughts.  Then after you have cleared you mind and finished any task that might preoccupy you sit down and listen to your child.  I have to be honest, I have no idea how you get your husband to listen to you. I am always open to suggestions.

Once you have set aside time, given your undivided attention, and listened to the person who makes up your garden of life the next step is to express compassion or empathy. There is nothing worse than confiding your concerns and fears regarding your life or most inner personal thoughts only to have the individual you are confiding the information to reply with a quick response and an expressionless face. I am not sure if it is due to the influx of various gadgets, social networks, or lack of human interaction in general but face to face people have become rather immune, or rather, awkward when it comes to illustrating compassion.  Perhaps it is because we are encouraging individuals away from any interpersonal activity. Think about it, we can now use a self scanner at the grocery store, a self scanner at the library, an automatic teller machine (ATM) at the bank, do online banking, purchase stamps and mail items from your home, and pump your own gas.  I suppose the closest we come in contact with people, besides church would be the drive thru. Has all this convenience brought about a generation that is lacking the ability to empathize with people?

When someone shares information about themselves with you it is important that you reply with a response that illustrates empathy. There are the occasions where perhaps you are not certain if you accurately interpreted the individual’s words.  When this happens kindly repeat what you thought they were saying.  The individual will then either confirm that yes, it was indeed what they were speaking of, or, they will elaborate for clarification. In order to nurture the relationship it is important that you understand their perspective and express the fact that you understand.  This does not have to mean that you agree with them, or their thoughts, but that you understand their thoughts. If a clear understanding is not made then miscommunication does occur and can lead to problems down the road. Also, if you do not practice empathizing with others entire relationships will eventually wilt away. So moms/parents take the time to sit down and express what empathy means with your children and practice living a more empathetic life, model the behavior for them.

We have set a strong foundation for this garden to grow but it still requires a few components in order for it to thrive.  Like the vegetable garden requires sunlight so does your garden of life.  In order to have light for your garden you must practice one of the most difficult actions for some individuals, and the most important action, forgiveness.  We have all had something negative happen to us at one time or another.  Unfortunately sometimes there are multiple offenses done to us but the key is to forgive.  I realize this can be difficult and I am not saying to forget because God knows that can be near impossible.  But in order for you to be a positive contribution to your own garden of life you need to remove the resentment in your heart. Once you have released the bitterness and negative thoughts from your mind you will be surprised at how your entire psyche alters.  Remove the needs for revenge; remove the grudges in your life, let the positive ions release. You exert so much energy by simply holding onto all the negative stuff that has occurred in your life, let it go.  Move on with your life in a more peaceful presence; let the past go, live today. How sad is it when you hear about a person who is so caught up in the happenings of the past that they let their few days, or years, left on this planet become clouded with hate and anger.  Choose joy, be the light in your garden of life.

Once you have the soil, water, fertilizer, and light in order there is still a very important component that is required for growth, oxygen. God is the oxygen in your garden of life.  When you think you are at your wits end, no one is listening to you, no one empathizes with what you are going through, or perhaps you are trying to help a friend and searching for the right words. God is always listening.  Granted the outcome may not be what your initial prayers were but he does have a plan for you. Do not become discouraged but rather provide your undivided attention and listen, he is telling you how to make your garden grow.

Lastly, it is important to note that there will be pest and weeds that enter your garden from time to time.  Do not alter your routine, be yourself, continue to provide undivided attention, listen, empathize, and forgive.  Either those pests will turn into vegetation in your garden of life or the level of oxygen will determine the outcome. Remember there are little gardeners watching your every move.

My Garden of Life

Peace

Mommies have to poop too!

“No great genius has ever existed without some touch of poop”.

-Lucius Annaeus Seneca-

Why are moms always the last individuals in the family to get to go to the bathroom? Ever missed your window and had to live with that bloated uncomfortable feeling all day? Or worse, after waiting your turn, and rapidly approaching a closing window, your opportunity finally arises only to be interrupted by some form of chaos.  Such as the baby placing small foreign objects in her nose or ears, or, perhaps your son thinking he can fly like superman only to be hugely disappointed by the impact of gravity and the pain of his head hitting the coffee table.  Off to the emergency room, maybe you can poop tomorrow?

As if it wasn’t bad enough already not being able to have the opportunity to have a bowel movement, we are then reminded periodically throughout the day that every other living creature in our house is, has, or will be pooping but us.  We clean up poop from the animals, we smell the horrific farts from the dog and our husbands, we change the baby’s diapers, we wipe our 3 year olds butt, and we flush the toilet after our 5 year old forgets. Yes, it is in our face all the time, everyone is pooping but mommy.

Why does daddy get 20 minutes of uninterrupted pooping time, often twice a day?  Does mommy’s colon not deserve the same? Ladies it is time to stand up for our time in the bathroom, or sit down, either way you get the point. So, grab that magazine you have been meaning to read and claim your time on the throne!

Excerpt taken from -Minimize the Chaos in order to Maximize the Joys of Motherhood